Wednesday, February 8, 2012

"Man was made for Joy & Woe" William Blake

"Man was made for Joy & Woe;
And when this we rightly know
Thro' the World we safely go"

My days have become reassuringly humdrum once again.  I've spent 36 hours away from anti-nausea drugs, returned to teaching and felt my body judder back to its normal self.  Everything is quiet and seemingly, unremarkable.   Except that I am changed.   

Never with so much excitement have I greeted cold, February mornings. I am as proud as an Homeric hero at the epic scale of the last two days: work, tea drinking, teaching, examination planning, registering and emails. Small victories, hubristic pride.  I am not looking back with regret.  The snow has never seemed so beautiful and the cold has never tasted so sharp. I have lost nothing and gained a new sense of perspective.

"Joy & Woe are woven fine,
A Clothing for the Soul divine
Under every grief & pine
Runs a joy with silken twine."

My mother sent me a text today.  This is the first that I've had since Friday.  She went through a seven hour hell of an operation to have a massive tumor removed from her pervis.  She is fighting like hell and she is winning.  I have ached to hear from her and my heart feels lighter knowing that she is back with me.

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