"Man was made for Joy & Woe;
And when this we rightly know
Thro' the World we safely go"
My days have become reassuringly humdrum once again. I've spent 36 hours away from anti-nausea drugs, returned to teaching and felt my body judder back to its normal self. Everything is quiet and seemingly, unremarkable. Except that I am changed.
Never with so much excitement have I greeted cold, February mornings. I am as proud as an Homeric hero at the epic scale of the last two days: work, tea drinking, teaching, examination planning, registering and emails. Small victories, hubristic pride. I am not looking back with regret. The snow has never seemed so beautiful and the cold has never tasted so sharp. I have lost nothing and gained a new sense of perspective.
"Joy & Woe are woven fine,
A Clothing for the Soul divine
Under every grief & pine
Runs a joy with silken twine."
My mother sent me a text today. This is the first that I've had since Friday. She went through a seven hour hell of an operation to have a massive tumor removed from her pervis. She is fighting like hell and she is winning. I have ached to hear from her and my heart feels lighter knowing that she is back with me.
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